Judging is a touchy subject. No one wants to admit they judge anyone, but we all do it. I have felt the sting of being judged. I strive towards not judging others and I was thinking I was doing a great job. That is until recently. Funny how blind we can be.
As you know I have been in a discipleship study group for a while now. We have walked through scripture and listened to each other’s thoughts about scripture (and what God is showing us in those scriptures). We recently walked through Exodus and Deuteronomy. The punishment of Moses bothered me a little. But Moses’ words to the children of Israel bothered me more. He blamed them for his punishment.
I just could not get past it. I found an interesting article that helped me move past it; however, it showed me some judgement on my part. I was judging God for His punishment of Moses. How? By not questioning the punishment. God is the only Judge. He is the authority over us and our sin. He is a fair and just God. (Psalm 25:8 "Good and upright is the LORD; therefore, he instructs sinners in the way.)
I definitely was judging Moses. He blamed the people for making him angry. But Moses took away God’s glory. Instead of obeying and speaking to the rock, he struck it. The power of God was taken away from God and placed on Moses in that moment. All the times God was angered by the children of Israel, Moses proclaimed God for who God was. Until the moment he went to God one last time about water. The tone and his words were against the people, but also there was no grace and “no humbling seeking God’s solution”. He was fed up. And he judged the people.
Me too. I have been there and spoken in anger to others. I have also been angry at God. I have failed to recognize God for being the Almighty. I have failed to proclaim His power and His mercy. There have been times in my life that like Moses, I have not allowed God to show who He was through me. This is where I find myself today. Seeking forgiveness for judging God again.
Sometimes it is not for me to understand “Why God.” In asking why, I fail to trust the unknown plan of God. I want the plan laid out in front of me so that I can step into trusting. Sound familiar? Moses had the plan, but in a moment of pure frustration he reacted (he failed to trust God). He closed his ears and heart to God’s plan and allowed his anger to consume him. And once the consumption was complete, he reacted. Until the realization hit me, I never understood how much like Moses I was.
Reactive in a split second in anger, that is a description of me. It is also a description of Moses. I felt holy by memorizing “Judge not lest you be judged”; however, I realize I too judge. I also had a revelation that I judge whenever I feel judged, but that revelation is for another blog. Maybe. But for today, I am humbled by the lesson Moses offers me. Deuteronomy 32:51 explains God’s judgement of Moses, “because you broke faith with me in the midst of the people of Israel at the waters of Meibah-kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, and because you did not treat me as holy in the midst of the people of Israel.” Faithless and irreverent.
My prayer: Lord, forgive me when I have been faithless. Not trusting you wholly because I need to be in control of my life. Or that I failed to trust in your plan for me because I needed to know more. Teach me to trust without having to know it all. Forgive my judgement of you and others. You are Most Holy, Lord, and I need to always remember that. Help me to not be so reactive. You are slow to anger, You should be my example. May your mercy find me and cover me. AMEN.