We are obsessed with weight. If someone is skinny, they hear "You're Anorexic!" If they are cubby, they hear "You could stand to lose a few pounds." I have heard both statements and both hurt. So the hidden message is I'm not loveable unless I gain or lose weight. Ouch!
Mirrors were not a friend in my family. Refrigerators on the other hand were. If they made a refrigerator with a mirrored from then maybe I would not have the unhealthy relationship with food. I inherited my unhealthy relationship with food. Okay, I was taught it. More like, shown it. My Mother was a beautiful woman, but I do not believe she felt that way. Two babies and a miscarriage took its toll on her shape. But so did stress. My Mom was a GREAT cook! She cooked comfort. Butter and cream were her ingredients of choice. She experiemented constantly and my Dad rarely said an unkind word about her cooking. Me? I used a favorite expression until I was about 8 or 9, "Ew". Mind you I also asked "What's For Dinner?" and occasionally when I saw it (or heard it-but that's another story) before she could answer, "Ew" was common out of my mouth. In my defense the visual of some dishes warranted an "EW, What's that?" Colors like a funky orange with green & yellow pieces in it or Grey chunky bubbling stuff are not particularly pleasing to the eyes (or stomach). I wasn't a fan of chipped beef or scrambled eggs with canned salmon in them (including the skin & bones).
When I was about 8 or 9, my Mother fixed creamed hamburger. Add cream & flour to browned grounded beef (undrained) and you get an unappetizing color of grey, with chunks. (If only chocolate cake were that color.) I took one look and said "EW, what's THAT?" She made me promise not to tell my Dad and brother and then she said "Raccoon Throw Up". Yes, I turned green. Dinner was served. I refused to eat and I refused to say why. My Dad got angry and sent me to bed. I gladly went. Later, my Mom felt bad and brought me a peanut butter sandwich.
My Mom went on all kinds of diets. She would lose and gain constantly. She did NutriSystems once. She got down to a size 10 and looked amazing, but never excerised or changed her cooking habits.
I was skinny until around the age of 24. I gained a bit of weight...up maybe 2 dress sizes. Office work, nice restaurant dates and alcohol tend to make one gain weight. Never wanted to exercise, did not enjoy it. I dieted and would drop five pounds and reward myself with cake. Cake is my best friend! White cake, vanilla buttercream icing with beautiful flowers. Savage's Bakery in Homewood makes the best birthday cakes. Over a five day period I can eat an entire cake (and I have done so). Cake for breakfast? Yes, please! Oh there's cake, why not for lunch? Honey, would you like a piece of cake for dessert? Oh yes, please! (Side note, my husband does not know how to cut cake. His serving sizes are much smaller than mine, much much smaller.)
Last August I went on Jenny Craig. I lost 20 pounds. I lost the same 5 pounds for 3 months. I loved my time on Jenny Craig because it taught me a few things. First, I cannot be on a diet without cooking. It just does not work for me, I love to cook too much. Second, I need a variety. Eating the same food over and over again gets old pretty quickly. Lastly, it taught me I need outside accountability (tried to allow my husband to hold me accountable, marriage counseling resolved that issue). Make me meet you to weigh in and I will stick to it. Turn me loose and I will be heavy in no time.
By now if you have been reading my blogs, you know it is God time. I won't disappoint you by leaving Him out. I thought once it would be good to allow to lead my diet plan. There was a craze going on called The Daniel Diet. I believe now it is The Daniel Fast. Purchased the book and started reading. I came to understand fairly quickly that I was not the type of woman to allow God to lead my diet. Yes, you read that correctly. I did not go on the Daniel plan. I did, however, later read "Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeust. I got more out of it than the Daniel book, but it was not a "diet" plan. It was (for me) an "Understanding" plan. It helped me understand my craving and also praying through some of the cravings. I finally understood I was made to crave God and not food. I substituted food because it was an instant gratification. Relying on scriptures, prayer and quiet time helped me and my relationship with God. I am still obsessed with food, but I crave my quiet time with God. I need it like my body needs food and water.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies."
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
Ephesians 4:30 "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."
I could list all the sin verses about food and drink, but I want to encourage not destroy. Ephesians 4:30 is listed because, in my opinion, we grieve the Holy Spirit in so many ways. For me, my language grieves Him. But so does my unhealthy lifestyle. What I eat and drink poisons my body, the temple of the Holy Spirit. The living quarters for Him have to be ugly--well maybe "plush" is a better discription. I am working on making HIs accommodations leaner.
So I will not grieve the Holy Spirit by giving into the unhealthy food cravings. I joined Weight Watchers and have set a goal of running a half marathon. Okay, walk/run if I'm going to be honest.
How do you grieve the Holy Spirit? I pray that you will see clearly those ways and make every effort to change them. :)
Savage's Bakery Birthday Cake