Too Soon -- Too Raw
Have you been dealt a hand that you never thought you would have? Life is not easy sometimes. Choices we make affect others as well as ourselves. The ripple effect of a choice can be like a stone thrown in a lake, watch those ripples extend.
The impact is immediate, big splash. It is a sudden and loud splash depending on the size of the rock. Pebbles are those small choices that barely affect anyone, whereas, boulders affect many. After the impact, there is lots of pain and confusion. Emotions surface in a rush like the splash of water. Time allows you to sort those emotions out. At the moment it is too soon and too raw to process anything.
Compassion comes over time. Forgiveness comes much later. Reconciliation comes only when God is front and center.
I was fired once. It was devastating to me. I had no clue it was coming. I had been doing my job and out of the blue, I was fired. The splash of the firing was great for me. It was not my choice, but someone else made that decision for me. Over time I found the positive. It allowed me to find a job in Birmingham. I started a new life away from my old life. I found friends who introduced me to my husband. What was devastating at the time, end up a blessing.
Bitterness follows anger. When you are hurt by the choices of others, it is very easy to become bitter. Bitterness keeps you rooted in a place of hurt. Been there and done that! The only solution to bitterness is forgiveness. You cannot forgive at point of impact, but time allows us to work through forgiveness. It is a daily exercise to forgive someone for their choices that hurt us. I held on to the hurt from a high school bully for years. Until I realized it was only hurting me and my relationship with God. It was not an instant “I forgive you”, but more of a “I need to start by praying for you” process. I started by praying for her and then asking God to release the pain she caused me.
Grief is needed. Whatever the impact point was, there needs to be grief. You need to mourn the loss of the before. You cannot return to whatever before looked like. Grief helps us, it cleanses the pain from us. Time allows the severity of the pain to lesson, still hurts but grief allows us to deal with that pain. Others may tell you what you need to do; however, it is not their life that has been impacted. Grieve for what was and what could have been but grieve with prayer to God. Meaning do not wallow in the pain, take it to God.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says there is a season and a time for every matter under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
If you find yourself facing a sudden impact, I hope you find God is sitting right beside you encouraging you to walk through the experience holding His hand. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that God is near the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 56:8 also reminds us “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” My friend, the only way He can collect those tears is to be right next to you. I pray this blog finds you and helps you work through the pain, grief and forgiveness you need.