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  • Writer's pictureCrystal

She Speaks 2020 & God Smacks

What do you do when God smacks you in the head? Not just once but multiple times. That was my She Speaks Online Conference experience this year. So, what do you do? Write a blog.

Day one was great because of the keynote speakers, Lysa Terkerst and Lisa Allen. Pages of notes from both. The worship time was sweet. However, because I was in a weird head space when I signed up and “attended” I got very little out of the day’s workshops. There were some upgrades available that I did not see a reason to do, so I missed out on some community experiences. The workshops had some great information, but I am not ready to utilize that information at the moment. That brings us to day 2…

Our first session was by Meredith Brock. She talked about trust issues. Let me just say, she & I are sisters! She packs everyone’s suitcases for trips just like I do. I texted a friend that Meredith was me, just as my friend was texting me that Meredith was me! I howled! Then she read Psalm 3:1-3, key verse 3, “But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.” It was a bombshell for her and me. When she said that God told her that He couldn’t lift an unbowed head, I started ugly crying. I can point out others pride very easily but am so blind to my own. One last thing she said was amazing. “Proving I had a purpose was not the point – all along He was building something so much more beautiful that I ever could imagined.” And that was the God smack that broke my hidden pride. I have felt defeated in my writing because I had been trying to prove that I was a writer. I found myself unable to share and cheer others because I had a tight fist around my calling. Not embracing the fact that the One that called me had called others.

Our final session was by Jennie Allen. If you have not heard her speak or teach, then you have missed passion in a unique way. When she talks, it is directly to you (very personal), it is fiery excitement for the Lord. You can feel her ready to jump up and down. I will listen to her session again and again because of the power of what she said. She was explaining ministry and burnout. But I am only going to focus on my God smack moment. She told us we had to know our enemy. Satan uses tricks to silence us. (first smack) You see, I was struggling with “why and who.” “Why” do I think I can write? No college degree. Failed to understand how to write a term paper. I butcher the English language and don’t even get me started on spelling. Satan one, writing (calling) zero. “Who” do I think will read my writing? “Who” is more qualified to write than me. Satan two, Writing zero. Until… “the enemy cannot take away our story. He wants to silence it with lies.” I had given over to the lies and silenced my writing and was miserable. One of the first things Jennie said was our calling was simple, “We are ministers to the gospel of Jesus Christ.” We are ALL on the same team! Teammates and Sisters! Hello comparison, you have no room here! Goodbye competition, you too have no place here! Welcome freeing tears.

Two other quotes stuck with me that were from an interview with a spoken word artist, Gloria Umanah. Y’all please YouTube her and watch the video “Contend to Create”. First quote, “Your enough is more than enough with God.” Read that again, because it needs to be read and spleen into everyone’s heart. I could write a whole blog on that one quote alone. My enough is MORE than enough if God is within it! Second quote, “…nothing except, God uses our excepts.” When we are talking about qualifications, we find ourselves saying “I have nothing except___.” So, God uses our “excepts”. Boom!

There is so much more I could write, but then you would think I was writing a novel instead of my blog. I hope something from my She Speaks experience finds its way to your heart and makes you stop and think.

She Speaks 2020 online

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