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  • Writer's pictureCrystal

New Year, Same Struggle

New Year’s Eve has come and gone. That means it is a New Year. New opportunities. Do you make Resolutions? I used to, but finally stopped because I made the same ones every year. I have struggled with weight loss for a while now.

Last year I joined weight watchers and a gym. I was one the road to a good healthy life. Had bumps in the road, but still working towards a goal. Then November happened. Surgery was not planned, and it came with a whole new set of rules and setbacks.

January brings in a new year. And this year it brought in a new weight. Not being able to move like I was along with the pain in my hips, made me not move. At first, I could not put weight on my leg. That meant I could not cook. I relied on food angels to bring me gifts of nourishment. Those gifts were so appreciated. They brought me dishes that I had not eaten since starting Weight Watchers.

Finally started being able to move some. My dreams were rekindled. I wrote about the crushing experience of realizing my goals for walking the half marathon in a few months wasn’t going to happen. In the back of my mind I had a little hope. During the month of November, I did not gain much weight. I thought that was a great positive. Started moving a little more.

Hello December, I started cooking. I made cookies and biscuits. Now those biscuits were not just any biscuits, they had cheese & sausage in them. I noticed a few articles of clothing were tight. I chalked that up to being washed & dried. I weigh myself obsessively. My scales would show I was up 2 pounds, then down 3. This was a pattern that was each day. Yoyo scale readings left me wondering what my true weight was.

I finally went back to Weight Watchers to a workshop and that included a weigh in. I now am faced with the reality of starting my weight loss journey over. All my hard work over the last 6 months before my surgery, came tumbling down with a weight gain of 8 pounds. Now, I know what you are saying to yourself, “Eight pounds, really.” Yes, really. Eight pounds is a different dress size (or two). Eight pounds is enough to send me for a bag of tootsie rolls (yep, a whole bag of miniature tootsie rolls).

My weight issue was inherited. My views about my body came from watching my Mother hate her body. I heard the things she said and stored them up. Unfortunately, when I became overweight, I heard my Mother’s voice come out of my mouth saying the things she said. I hated trying on clothes. I was too embarrassed with my body to enjoy the experience of a new outfit. Now in January, I am back to feeling that way. In 50 days, I travel to Disney to walk a half marathon race that I am ill prepared for. I am heavier than I wanted to be, I can hardly walk a mile. I can’t train like I was, and I am frustrated. I am depressed.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” As I try living out my life verse, I am seeking the hope God gives me. I am praying this verse over the next 50 days. And I am heading to the gym every day. I can only do what my hip allows me to do when it comes to walking. But I can work out my upper body. I can ride a bike for a mile (even if it is on level 1).

My struggle is no different than yours. Setbacks happen. In overcoming our setbacks is difficult. Scripture is our playbook. Finding verses that offer hope, direction and motivation is part of overcoming our circumstances. Remember to introduce your mountain to your God (the one true God) - Matthew 17:20 “He replied, ‘Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.””

Faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain of problems to the sea...

Hello Mountain…meet my God, now MOVE!

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