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  • Writer's pictureCrystal


Since August last year I have been trying to lose my 19-year-old baby weight. No, not trying to get rid of the kid, just the pounds that I seem to have kept after she left my body. I guess technically I lost it, but it came back. So, after getting bored with Jenny Craig, I started doing Weight Watchers in June. Joined a gym right after. That’s when I started having issues.

It has been my quest to get answers as to why I have pain in my hip since May. Yes, May. I went to an orthopedic doctor and had a poor experience with him. Since then I have tried to get another appointment with another doctor. FINALLY, I have an appointment today.

When you listen to the weight loss stories, most will tell you they have gotten off a lot of the medication they were once one. Well, for me since starting this journey I have added one. And now it seems I am heading down the path of another. First is for cholesterol, the second is high blood pressure. When you do not monitor these things, then you are oblivious to these dangers.

Getting healthy is more than just losing weight. It is about cooking right, eating right and becoming active. But I also am finding that I need to become more spiritually healthy. Just like the changes in my diet, I need to change my spiritual diet. This means that maybe I don’t need to see a movie that is full of poor language, if that is where I struggle. Maybe I need to change the music I listen to, or the books I read. There is a saying that was said to me years ago when I first started working on computers, “Garbage in, Garbage out”. This is true in life. What we hear and see, is often reflected in our views and our language. Matthew 6:22-23 says, “The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”

Scripture in, means scripture out. If we read scriptures, let that scripture take root, then our lives can reflect scriptures more often. It takes practice and hard work. Our nature is to sin. 1 John 2:15-17 says this, “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” This verse reminds us that we are to separate ourselves from the things of this world. I look at it more of the views of the world, the tolerance of sins. (I believe pride in possessions will come back and bite you.) Desires of the flesh & desires of the eyes go hand-in-hand. We see it, desire it and get it.

So, when you read a verse like that, what do you think? Do you see your own short comings? I do. I fear on my tombstone will be the words “Epic Fail”. The t-shirt saying of “She believe she could and therefore she did” comes with a whole new meaning for me. Hero doughnuts would be my epic fail moment last night. I believe I could eat one and I did. But the guilt of enjoying my desire of the flesh in that moment are now showing on my scales and in my crushed spirit. So, Here I stand before you, confessing another sin, another epic fail moment (more like 4 days of them) and asking for forgiveness.

My latest torture device

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